Updates

JP Health Update
A few weeks ago we met with a cardiologist at a children's hospital here in town.  Brian actually found her on the internet and called her office.  She met with us for free.  I got there first and told her what he has.  Her eyes got very big!  Then B gave her all JP's paper work and she started reading some of it.  She was shocked at what he has and what he has been through.  She asked us if we had a picture of what his heart looks like in our head.  We were like "Uh...no!"  So she drew a picture of a normal heart and his heart.  It was shocking.  Everything is all mixed up but it all works!  She said if one thing was in the right place in him he would be dead but since it is all mixed up it works OK.  She said that the open heart surgeries that he has already had were exactly what she would have done if he was here.  BUT he needs one more and will probably need it this summer.  This was kind of a shock to us because we didn't think he would have to have another surgery until he is a teenager.  There are lots of details and information she gave us, but I won't go into all of that.  Overall, it was a great meeting.  She was amazed at how well he has done with all he has had to overcome.  She said we have a very healthy, hardy boy with a very serious heart condition and she told us not to worry about his future.  With all the technology advances he should live a long and happy life.  We were very encouraged when we left her office.
She also told us that we need to have oxygen on the plane ride.  She thinks he will be uncomfortable in the plane with the oxygen level the way it is.  God truly blessed us, during these 10 years of being married with no kids, with travels.  We LOVE traveling...specifically overseas.  We are pretty good at it too.  But throw a kid into it, a kid we will have only known for a week and everything changes.  And now on top of that we are going to have to take oxygen on the plane!!!  OH MY WORD!!!  I imagine we will have TONS of stuff and I will be standing in the middle of it with my son sitting on top of everything, while B explains to the people at security that we just adopted this boy and we need to bring an oxygen tank on the plane.  Yeah...that is going to go over really well.  We should probably plan on being at the airport 8 hours early!  We will have paper work for all of this of course.  I'm sure it will all work out, but I can just see this playing out in my head.  I'm going to try to remind myself to laugh while we are going through it.

Process Update
We have been waiting on Article 5.  What is that?  I'm not really sure!  All I know is it is a piece of paper that is standing in the way of me and my son.  Anyway...we got it last Monday!!  SO...the only thing we are waiting on is the High Court Order (HCO).  They are saying that should take 6 to 10 weeks.  Then after that it will be another 1 to 3 weeks until we travel.  So we are planning on the end of February.  I keep telling myself March though so if we travel earlier it will be awesome!  We are so close!  I'm still praying for a Christmas miracle though! 

Update On Where I Am In The Process
Well, we have received lots of good news in the past two weeks with the updates above.  I am really getting excited!  But I have to admit that I'm actually pretty sad as well.  You see all year I have been planning this Christmas to be centered around my little boy.  And now that I'm pretty sure that isn't going to happen, I find myself very emotional.  B and I went to look at Christmas lights a few nights ago and I couldn't help being sad that this was not the year I was going to show them to a little boy sitting in the back seat.  I have dreamed about this all year and now I have to wait another whole year!!!!  I know what you are thinking..."but you are so close to having him."  Yes, I know that and I am happy about it and the thought of next year.  But can I have a little pity party for a minute?  This is not how the end of this year was supposed to turn out.  I'm not going to lie...I'm mad about it.  I will NEVER understand why this process has to take SO long!!  On January 20th it will have been one full year since I laid eyes on his picture, read his story for the first time, and KNEW that he was for me.  I told myself back then (when they told me I should have him in October) that I could do 9 months because that's what every pregnant woman has to go through.  This was a little different though.  I had seen his picture, read his story, and the only thing standing between us (besides a large body of water) was paperwork!!  And now it has been almost 11 months!  Ugh...frustrating.  OK...pity party over.
We are going to start next year off with a bang though!  So how am I preparing myself for this?  Well, it might not be the way you think.  You see, I'm preparing myself to meet my child, the child I prayed so hard for, the child it has taken us so long to get, the child that is probably going to hate me!  At first anyway.  Oh I have heard stories and seen pictures.  The parents smiling with tears in their eyes and the kids screaming pushing them away!  Seriously.  Think about it.  Everyone knows he is going to be much better off, but he doesn't know that.  All he knows is that these white people are coming to take him away from everything he has known for 4 years.  I would be scared too!  So while I dream about us running towards each other and embracing in a hug that would drop anyone to their knees...I have to face the reality that it isn't going to go down that way.  I have to be sensitive to this process and transition he is going through.  Oh I'm going to hug him...I don't doubt that.  It is just up in the air as to whether he will hug me back or not.   But I have complete faith that this is all going to work out and work out exactly how it is supposed too.  I'm kind of theatrical (in my brain at least) and I know that things never end up the way I imagine.  The only way I know how to prepare myself for this is to pray.  Would you like to pray with me?  Here are some specific requests I have:

• Pray that God would be preparing his little heart for this transition. 
• Pray that God would prepare my heart for this transition!
• Pray for our travels to and from!
• Pray that God would guide us in the medical decisions we will have to make as soon as we get him home.
• Pray for us this Christmas. 
• Pray for God's perfect timing for our travels.  This might sound stupid but we really want the trip to be at a time when our friends can come and meet us.  This normally would not be a problem, but with the Chinese New Year so close to our possible travel date, this could be a very big problem.  We really want them to be there.  Not just for us, but for you as well...because they can take pictures of the first time we meet...even if he is screaming!  We just always envisioned them being there with us and we are praying that God's perfect timing works in our favor.  So even if you think that is a selfish thing to ask...will you please pray for it to happen?

Thanks for reading my rant!  I'm still holding on to my verse.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed in You, because he trusts in You.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."  Isaiah 26:3-4

Katie

The Day I Said "No"

Another title for this would be “A Hard Lesson in Submission”

I have been meaning to write this for a long time.  Writing about this day is hard.  I can honestly say this day was one of the hardest days of my life…so far.  But, I wouldn’t be where I am today without this day.  Where to start????

Well, I first have to start with some (ok…A LOT…I guess I needed to get all this out) background on my infertility journey.  It is something I struggle with talking about because I have always kept it very quiet.  I didn’t want to go through it and I certainly didn’t want others going through it.  I didn’t want to get any kind of attention from this and I didn’t want to take attention away from all the women at church who were having babies.  Also, Brian and I wanted to follow God’s will and no one else’s.  I know that many people have gone through the same thing and I didn’t want to make a decision based on their experiences and not what God had planned.

We had already made the decision to adopt from China, but the fact of the matter was that I had a disease and HAD to go see a fertility doctor.  My only options were 1) to go on birth control for…forever or 2) try fertility treatments.  So we decided that we should at least try fertility treatments even though no matter what the outcome was we would still adopt from China.  We prayed…A LOT!  We wanted God to lead us through which treatments to take.  We had no idea how to make that decision.  We prayed for a good doctor and we prayed that God would give us blessings to follow what He wanted us to do.  B was absolutely amazing through this whole process.  It was my body and he always gave me the final say and he was so sensitive to my feelings through this whole process.  I went to the first appointment by myself because I knew it would just be a whole lot of tests on me.  They confirmed that I had the disease my OBGYN had diagnosed.  I went into the doctor’s office and he said that his wife had the same disease (at this point I thanked God in my head for the first blessing that showed me we were on the right path).  So he gave me some options and I took them home to discuss them with B.  We decided to only try one kind.  The others were expensive and we felt that it would be better to use that money towards adoption.  So we went back to the doctor and as we told him what our plans were, he agreed with us.  He walked out of the office for a minute and came back in with our first round of shots (yep…I had to give myself shots…my worst nightmare).  He said one of his other patients had ordered them and then got pregnant without using them.  She wanted someone else to have them for free.  I couldn’t believe it.  Ok…this was a HUGE blessing so we HAD to be on the right path.  Have I mentioned that my insurance didn’t pay for any kind of fertility treatment?!  So we started the treatments. 

I took the pregnancy test the Tuesday before Thanksgiving 2007.  I need to mention that I was in a pretty deep depression during this time.  My parents had just moved to the other side of the world and so did my best friends.  We had moved to my parents’ house out in the country.  I felt very lonely and slipped into a deep depression.  AND it seemed like everyone was asking me when and if I was pregnant!  When you think about asking someone that...don't!  Ok?  So I took the test and it was negative.  I wasn’t as sad as I thought I would be.  I went into survival mode.  I told myself it was no big deal.  We would just try again (one more time).  This was God’s will and we were still on the right path.  I was OK.  I sent a text to a few people who knew.  My mom called and I was strong (I always try to be strong for my mom).  Then I called my friend (on the other side of the world!).  Something told her it was negative.  As soon as she picked up the phone I was crying and she was crying.  I got off the phone and was OK.  I was strong.  I would get through this and tough out another round.  That round was set to take place the day after Thanksgiving…my first Thanksgiving without my parents (the one where we cut into my turkey and it was raw…great and funny story that we reminisce about quite often).  That day B said that he thought we should wait another month before we went through another treatment.  He thought I needed time to rest and we needed to just step back for a month and wait.  Now comes THE day.

The day after Thanksgiving 2007.  The day I said “no” to my husband and to my Lord.  I was determined to get through another treatment.  So I ignored my husband’s plea to wait a month and I set out to the fertility office that morning by myself.  It was PACKED!!!  I went up to the desk and the receptionist told me how much I owed for this treatment.  Well, I was shocked to find out that it was double the cost of the first one (I’m still not sure why).  I reached for my phone to call B and figure out how we were going to pay for this only to find that I forgot to bring my phone.  So I had to call right there…in front of the receptionist and everyone in the office.  I told him how much and he said to put it on the credit card.  They didn’t take our card type!  So he moved the money from our savings online into the checking account.  Now…I’m stressed out and this should have been another sign (because my husband’s plea was not a big enough sign to me).  But NO…I was stupid and determined to get this over with!  So I go in to have my ultrasound done (they do that before and after every treatment).  The technician was not her normal chipper self.  She left the room and got my nurse.  The best thing about going through this process is that you get assigned one nurse.  She knows everything about you and you can call her at any time about anything.  She came in and told me that one of the over 100 cysts I have, had taken all of the medication and was extremely large.  I would have to go on birth control for the next month to make it go down.  I of course burst into tears at that moment.  Not because I had to wait another month but because in that moment I realized I had not listened to my husband and that I had not obeyed God because of that.  I left bawling.  Driving down the interstate barely seeing the road.  Wishing I could call anyone.  B, my mom, one of my best friends, Jana, who I knew would come and get me right away.  Instead I had to pull myself together enough to walk through my living room where B’s mom, dad, grandpa, and grandma sat.  I walked right by them, ran straight to my room and curled up in a ball on the bed.   B came in and I apologized for not listening to him.  He is so understanding!  I’m extremely thankful that even though I was a very defiant girl, God did not let me leave His will.  I learned a very valuable lesson in submitting to my husband.  He is the spiritual leader of our house and I really don’t envy him!  I’m thankful that he seeks God’s will and wants so desperately for us to live in His will always.  Never again have I defied him like I did that day and I pray I never do.  If you are reading this and don’t agree with submitting to your husband, please read what the Bible has to say about it.  It works because it is the way God designed it.  He is the great architect of life and this is part of our life.  

We did not go through another treatment.  We decided that we would only pursue adoption…and now we are just a few months away from adopting the coolest kid in Hong Kong!

Brian, thank you for being the man God wants you to be and the man I need you to be.  I love you babe and will follow you to eternity and beyond! 

Katie

Happy Birthday JP!!!!

I know it has been a while since I have written...so this is going to be a little long.

So our boy's birthday was September 3rd.  It was a Saturday so we started it like we start most Saturdays...by dedicating songs to each other!  Basically we go back and forth playing music we like on our iPhones and before we play each song we say "This is a request and dedication from me to you."  Yeah...you might think this is dorky, but that's how we roll.  We also went into his room and prayed for him.

Then we went to our favorite breakfast/coffee shop in Memphis.

Then we went to the zoo!  We got our zoo membership (+1 so one of our moms or dads can go too) and they were having a sale in the gift shop so we got him a few cool things.

Then we had some good Memphis BBQ and spent the rest of the day hanging out with some of our extended family that was in town.  It was a low key day...but next year...watch out!!  BIGGEST PARTY EVER!! 

Oh and B bought this cute cake and we ate it with our community group.

The next weekend my friends had a birthday shower for me!  I must say that I'm never comfortable at showers.  They used to be very emotional for me.  I was pretty nervous about this not only because it was a shower (yes, even though it was finally my turn), but also because I don't really care for attention like that!  I'm always scared I will say something wrong or do something wrong.  Now put me in front of the kids at church and I will make a complete fool of myself to get them to understand and be interested in the Bible.  I don't do so well in front of adults though.  BUT...ahem...if I might say so myself, this shower was FUN!  I personally LOVED opening up all the fun toys, books, clothes, etc.  I think everyone else enjoyed it too! 

Barbara and Kiley made an AWESOME and yummy cake!

 

I got so many great things.  I will never get over how generous and loving people are.  I mean check it out!!

These women (and a few who couldn't be there on the day) made it all possible because they love me and my family.  They are holding up the hostess gifts I gave them representing the broken heart that our son has but is the reason we are able to adopt him.

I love you ladies!

It really was a wonderful day and I'm still working on "Thank You" notes!!
I hope to write again this week with an update on where we are in the process.  It has been long and frustrating, but we are finally getting to where we can see the light at the end.
Thanks for reading!
Katie



Hanging on to every word

Words mean everything.  It has always been that way.  I think that is why I love music so much.  And I do love music.  But even more, I love lyrics.  Here are some of my favorite:

You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended, you should be the one I’ll always love - Muse - Unintended

I'm at the borderline of my faith, I'm at the hinterland of my devotion, in the frontline of this battle of mine, but I'm still alive - Sade - Soldier of Love

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy - John Mark McMillan - How He Loves

If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.  Taylor Swift - Back to December

Can You overcome this heart that's overcome. - David Crowder - SMS [Shine]

Well for the price of a coke or a smoke I could keep alive those hungry eyes. - Dave Matthews - Seek Up

You are a novel in a sea of magazines - Drew Holcomb - Fire and Dynamite

And I'm growing fond of broken people as I see that I am one of them - Paul Meany (MuteMath) - Pins and Needles

You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust - Gungor - Beautiful Things

Life flows from God, it flows from God - Charlie Hall - You are God

Shoulda known you was trouble from the first kiss had your eyes wide open, why were they open - Bruno Mars - Grenade

I just love the way people can sometimes put into a few words a lifetime of emotion.  And I surprise myself sometimes how much importance I put on people's words.  Like, for example, last week when our social worker said we are still a couple months out.  Or was it a few months out? Or did she say we're months out?  I don't remember.  But I think she said a "few" months out and for the last few days I've been hanging on to that 3 letter word.  Because a "few" months is better than just saying we're "months" out, right?  So in my mind I had decided we would be travelling to Hong Kong around late November early December.  That's perfect.  Just in time for Christmas. 

So just to confirm I asked our social worker last night if she thought November/December was a reasonable expectation.  I remember exactly what she said.

"No I really don't."

When she said that there was a second or two where I thought she was just kidding.  Then she repeated it.  So as we talked she explained that in her experience looking at the steps that we still need to go through she just didn't see it happening before the end of the year. 

If I knew what it sounded like I would post the sound of mine and Katie's hearts deflating here.

We left the agency thankful for all that God has done for us, but feeling kind of blue at the same time. 

We took separate cars because we went there after work.  So when we got home we talked about it a little.  You may not believe this but it did not cheer Katie up when I started listing all the advantages of us being delayed another month or two.  Speaking of words meaning something, I learned from Adrian Rogers that to cherish means to warm with body heat.  And there are times when putting your arm around someone says everything that needs to be said.

It's been an emotional week.  In the highs and lows the Father is still there.  If there is anyone whose words are worth hanging on to, it is His.

From Psalm 119:

11 I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.

14 In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.

15 I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.

18 Open my eyes, that I may behold
wondrous things out of your law.

24 Your testimonies are my delight;
they are my counselors.

25 My soul clings to the dust;
 give me life according to your word!

28 My soul melts away for sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word!

31 I cling to your testimonies, O LORD;
 let me not be put to shame!
32 I will run in the way of your commandments
when you enlarge my heart!

34 Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.

36 Incline my heart to your testimonies,
and not to selfish gain!
37 Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;
and give me life in your ways.

41 Let your steadfast love come to me, O LORD,
your salvation according to your promise;
42 then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me,
for I trust in your word.

49 Remember your word to your servant,
in which you have made me hope.
50 This is my comfort in my affliction,
that your promise gives me life.

65 You have dealt well with your servant,
O LORD, according to your word.
66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge,
for I believe in your commandments.

67 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I keep your word.
68 You are good and do good;
 teach me your statutes.

72 The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

77 Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
for your law is my delight.

81 My soul longs for your salvation;
I hope in your word.

89 Forever, O LORD, your word
is firmly fixed in the heavens.
90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
you have established the earth, and it stands fast.

93 I will never forget your precepts,
for by them you have given me life.

97 Oh how I love your law!
It is my meditation all the day.

103 How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!

105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.

107 I am severely afflicted;
 give me life, O LORD, according to your word!

111 Your testimonies are my heritage forever,
for they are the joy of my heart.

114 You are my hiding place and my shield;
I hope in your word.

142 Your righteousness is righteous forever,
and your law is true.

144 Your testimonies are righteous forever;
 give me understanding that I may live.

156 Great is your mercy, O LORD;
 give me life according to your rules.

169 Let my cry come before you, O LORD;
 give me understanding according to your word!

That was quick!

WE HAVE MATCHING APPROVAL!!!  I can't even tell you have excited we are.  What has made this even more special is that we asked for prayer just yesterday.  THANK YOU to everyone who prayed for us.  God's faithfulness amazes us every step of the way in our journey.  Thank you so much for being a part of this. 

So what is "matching approval"???
This was the next big step we were waiting for.  This is where the adoption unit in HK looked at his information and ours and decided we would be a good match.  And now we can have contact with him.  We also have MORE paperwork!  We have to send more information to the U.S. Department of Immigration.  We also get to send our package to our boy.  It includes a University of Memphis t-shirt, some toy cars, a blanket that we have slept with to get our scent on, and a photo album we made of us, our family, and our friends.  We are also going to work on a video to send him.  We will do a tour of the house and the zoo.  I also had a great idea to video us making a stuffed animal at Build-A-Bear and then taking the animal to him when we see him.  We want the video to be fun and interesting so he will want to watch it over and over until we meet.  While this approval is a major step our social worker said we are still a few months from traveling to go and get him.  So we still have more waiting, but we see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Thanks again for praying!  You will never know how much that means to us.
Katie

Random

I'm sorry we haven't written anything in a while.  Honestly, it is because we have had NO updates.  NONE!  Because of this, we are asking for your prayers...especially this week.  Our little boy's birthday is Saturday.  While we knew we would not have him on his birthday, we were hoping we would be able to have contact with him by now.  B emailed our social worker on Monday to see if we could at least get a "Happy Birthday!" message to him and she said "no." :(  I'm just sad.  Our paper work has been in Hong Kong for almost 14 weeks.  I'm ready for something...anything!  If you will please just lift us up this week, that would be great.  We are planning to celebrate by ourselves Saturday morning and will post pictures of it.   

Next weekend my friends are throwing a shower for me in honor of his birthday.  I can't wait!!!  This will be my only shower.  I have a special gift for all the hostesses and I'm so excited about it!  Don't worry...I will post lots of pictures!

Last week I took a trip to the beach with some wonderful ladies.  We had a great time and some much needed rest for all of us.  While I was there I did a social media fast.  I didn't check Facebook or Twitter all week.  I highly recommend doing this.  I think I might make it a monthly thing.  I did check my email because I didn't want to miss anything from our social worker.  I also continued to read the blogs I keep up with.  I was reading the blog of one of B's friends who just adopted a child and I noticed a link to another blog.  From there, I found another blog.  This kept going and going.  All these blogs were of multicultural, adopted families.  It was extremely encouraging and informative.  I'm so thankful for all the people who open up about their experiences and I hope one day to help others with ours.  I'm going to try to post links to these blogs too and share some things I have learned.  I want to go ahead and share one thing with you.  One of the sites I found (and am now addicted to) is of a lady who has 10 children, 6 of which have been adopted from China.  She should have 11 children but one died in May before she got her.  She died because of a virus and a complex heart defect.  To honor her daughter, that she never got to meet, she designed a t-shirt on a site that sells t-shirt to support adoptions, Wild Olive Tees.  When you buy this shirt (here) 100% of the proceeds go to fund a heart surgery for an orphan in China.  My shirt is on its way here!  I will let you know how it fits.  I wish they made it in the classic style, but oh well.  This is of course close to my heart because of my little boy's heart condition.  Please PLEASE go buy one!!!!  You never know whose child you are helping...it might be yours one day!

Thanks for reading my randomness!  And please remember to pray for us this week.
Katie

Waiting...

Last week was hard.  It all started on Saturday, July 16^th.  I went to see Harry Potter with two of my closest  friends Susan and Elaine…my faux sisters as I call them.  Afterwards we went to Starbucks and I gave them the reports from Jonah’s speech therapist.  They looked over them and translated the translation of the reports.  They were in English but some things don’t translate correctly and even if they did, I don’t know all the terms.  Thankfully God has given me some very talented and knowledgeable friends.  Susan is a speech therapist and Elaine is a teacher.  Between the two of them they were able to look at the reports and tell me what they mean.  The two reports that they looked at were about six months apart.  The first one had me a little concerned.  It said he was somewhat behind.  He was not expressing himself very well and (the part that broke my heart) he was playing parallel to other children and not with them.  Then they went to the next report and he had shown great improvement.  He was playing with the other kids.  He was on track with almost all of his speech and the places he was behind in are not that big of a concern.  I was so thankful for my friends when I left…love them!

As soon as I got in the car I started getting emotional.  It was something about hearing my friends talk about him like they knew him that made him feel more a part of my life.  It felt great!  Then I started thinking about Harry Potter.  I told B that I was not going to put this part in the blog because I feel like a complete dork…but here goes!  I have always loved fantasy.  The unbelievable.  The stories.  LOVE IT ALL!  Well I was thinking about the story of Harry Potter and how he was called “The boy who lived!”  It hit me…this little boy…my little boy…is the boy who lived!!!  There are many, many reasons why he should not even be alive.  I will have to talk about all of them in another post.  He has overcome all odds.  And yet here he is and God is giving him to me!  I was so overcome with emotion.  God has given me this wonderful story.  Better than fantasy movies haha!  Better than anything I could have ever written myself.  I don’t think I have ever felt God’s love like I did at that moment.  I praised Him!  When I got home I was shaking.  It was incredible.

So now to tell you why it was so hard.  I’m done with waiting!  Honestly we have been very blessed in our timeline.  Yes, we waited a LONG time to adopt, but the process has gone fairly quickly…well quicker than others.  I REALLY don’t want to wait any longer and it is killing me.  I told B one night that I was tired of waiting.  He said he understood but it is just not time to go get him yet.  God’s timing is perfect (yes, I tell myself that every day).  He has planned this all so well.

So, Friday the 22^nd came around.  B was talking that morning about how it had been eight weeks since we turned in our paper work to HK.  Oh and we recently  found out that we are waiting on another approval that we didn’t really know we were waiting on.  I emailed our social worker to find out how we could make contact with him and she said not until after we get matching approval.  WHAT?!?!  What is that?  Well the HK adoption office has to get our paper and Jonah’s and “match” us together.  Argh…so we would wait for that.  So back to Friday.  I prayed throughout the day that I would hear from God.  I just wanted something to know that He was there and that He was handling things.  Yes, I know this, but I just wanted Him to show me.  He didn’t have to…He never HAS to…but He DID!!  I was checking my email all day just to see if there was something from our social worker.  I got home from work and right before we went out I checked it one more time.  There it was!  An email!  It did not confirm matching approval.  It just said that the adoption office had no further questions on us.  They are just waiting to get his information.  I started jumping up and down.  B didn’t know what was going on and said “explain yourself!”  Haha!  I heard from God!  What an answer…an immediate answer.  HE IS SO FAITHFUL!!

Recently I was talking to two close friends (God has given me so many great people in my life) about what they thought it meant to wait on the Lord.  One of them, Natalie (Tia as Jonah will call her), said something like this “You wait on the Lord because you know and have faith that He WILL move!”  Wow…so true.  Isn’t it amazing to worship and serve THE LIVING GOD?!!!!

So I will wait. I will wait upon the Lord.  For I know this season of waiting will come to an end.  Time is speeding past us.  God is living and moving.  “Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!”

Katie    

Why China

I have talked a little about this in other posts but here are more details.  I always knew I wanted to adopt internationally.  However, B did not always know this!  I mentioned it to him when we first (beginning of 2007) started seriously talking about adoption and he ended that discussion quickly.  I just started praying that God would soften his heart and decided I wouldn’t bring up the international thing again.  I wanted it to be his decision for our family.  He is the head of the house and things always work better when I step down and let him make decisions.  So I waited for him to come to the same conclusion I did.  That happened on September 3^rd, 2007…the day Jonah was born.  We were flying back from visiting friends and some of their friends had adopted Chinese daughters and God used them to speak to B’s heart. 

In order to adopt from China both potential parents have to be 30 years old.  So we knew we had three years before we could adopt.  This was actually a good time line for us.  My parents had just moved to another country for three years so they would be back for support around that time.  Don’t get me wrong…waiting that long was still hard. 

When we started looking at adoption agencies, we decided to go to an intro class given by the agency we ended up using.  They just went through the basics of each country they worked with.  When they showed the pictures of all the kids I wanted every one of them and so did B.  He was fine looking into other countries (amazing since he was so closed to it before).  I still felt a tug towards China.  One thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t want the wait time to be a factor in our decision.  I didn’t want us to choose another country simply because we would get a child faster.  As we prayed about it I definitely felt like we were supposed to adopt from China and choosing any other country would be disobeying God.  So we decided to wait.

We went into the China program in the fall of 2010.  We took our time filling out the paper work and taking all the necessary steps.  In January of 2011, we got a call that there was a little boy in Hong Kong.  The Hong Kong program is completely different from the China program.  We could have gone into this program when we first started talking about it and already have a child by now.  That was not God’s plan though.  If we had done that this little boy would not be ours.  He was a new born and was not in the system yet.  Craziness!  Of course we had to pray about this little boy before we absolutely said yes.  We had just been so sure that we were supposed to adopt from CHINA!  We didn’t pray long though.  The wait time was NOT an issue anymore and we felt drawn to him.

So that is how we got where we are now!  This whole time God has been giving us a heart for Chinese people…here and there!

Katie

I tried to load some other pictures from our last trip to China, but the blog site isn't working correctly.  Maybe next time.

HMNI_AIBABTd

I decided if I ever own an adoption agency I will give all the parents name tags that read "Hi my name is _____ and I'm being attacked by the devil." And maybe design a t-shirt with that on the front and on the back it would say "Just sayin." Because I have found that when you sign up for adoption you are one of the devils favorite targets. Katie and I discussed this from the very beginning. In some ways adoption is like international missions. We obviously want to raise our children in an environment that will be Gospel-heavy. And probably most of our children will be international. So I think that qualifies for international missions. All that to say I know missionaries are high on the target list too.

So even going into this knowing there would be some tom-foolery thrown at us from little d, I was a little surprised to be surprised when it started showing up. It started out very ambiguous. I was just in a bad mood. I kept thinking it was just a bad day or it would pass or whatever. But over the last few weeks things got a little more specific. I think it was around Father's Day when things started getting weird. That was a completely strange day for me. Am I a dad yet? A few people told me Happy Fathers Day. But I definitely felt more like a son than anything else. We only have one picture. Should I feel like a dad already? I haven't decided what his life-verse should be. We're not even sure how to pronounce his Chinese name.

At that point I started getting really mad at the process and how open the time frame is. For example, we could make the trip during July, or it could be 8 or 9 months from now. And I started getting kind of annoyed talking about all of it, which I felt really bad about. Shouldn't my face light up when I talk about a boy who will be my child? Instead in most cases I would shut down and just not want to talk about it at all.

This is bad I know, but I like to resolve problems before I want to talk about it much. I think that is called dealing with things on your own. Katie is all too familiar with me doing that, but I think I have gotten better. I'm working on it. But I realized I can't resolve this situation. And even more I don't want to try to resolve this on my own. This confusion and frustration and whatever else is all part of it. And Katie, who is everything lovely and graceful, is tracking along side me the whole time. If you ever want to know more about mercy and compassion, get to know my wife.

The whole time all that has been going on we've had a number of family and friends going through some very difficult events.
Some of our friends have:
lost their Dad
lost a family member to suicide
been dealing with cancer themselves
been dealing with family members with cancer
In addition to that we just know a lot of people who are really hurting for various reasons right now. So in light of that I really have to get perspective and realize how many blessings God has given me and Katie. Even in weird darkness and confusion, I have so much to be thankful for.

I know this verse is true and I cling to it often: Psalm 18:28 For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness.

Welcome to Jonah's Room

It took me a while to decide exactly what I wanted to do in here.  The furniture completely came together on its own.  The bed is from our dear friends Barbara and Jim.  Both of their kids used it (it is actually part of a bunk bed) and we are very close to their kids.  So I'm pretty attached to the bed.  The chest is from a friend who is working in another country for the next year and every time I go into his room I remember to pray for her.  I grew up with that rocking chair.  I used to rock myself to sleep in it.  I would stick my feet out of the back and pump my legs to rock it.  Then I would fall asleep facing backwards in it.  I got the bedside table (and actually the quilt, sheets, and curtains) at the Pottery Barn Outlet...my favorite store.  We don't have anything on the wall because we want to see exactly what he is into when he gets here.  We will add a few more things (like lamps and some shelves) at some point.  There is already a lot of love in here!  Brian and I just stood in there last night and tried to imagine him in there.  It is all real now and I'm pretty emotional.

Working on the scrapbook we are going to send to him now.

Katie

Q&A

So we get lots of questions about our adoption and the process.  Some we can answer and some we can't.  Below are some questions we have received recently.  If you have a question for us, please email one of us and we will try to answer it.

First I wanted to show you what our paper work looked like.

Q:  When will you get to go get him?

A:  We really don’t know.  We were told at the beginning that it takes 6 to 9 months for Hong Kong (HK) to go through the paper work and call us.  Our agency THINKS we will have him before the end of the year.  I think that God can do anything and He could certainly make things go faster if that is best.  Of course I want the wait to be over soon, but in many ways I want to cherish this time before he comes.  I want to see what God is going to do during this wait time.  How is He going to refine us as a couple before we bring a child into our life?  What is He going to teach us over these next few months?  Questions with no answers…yet.

Q:  How long will you have between the time HK calls you to come get him and when you actually go and get him?

A:  We will have a week to get there!  We have spoken to Delta and they provide adoption discounts.  It will still be expensive to get a ticket in that short amount of time.

Q:  How long do you have to stay in HK?

A:  7 days.  Thankfully all of our waiting is on the front end.  This is not the case for all international adoptions.  Some people have to stay for over a month and some have to make two trips.

Q:  What is his name?

A:  Well, he has a Chinese name, which I will not be posting.  He also has an American name, which someone along the course of his life gave him and it is Nicodemus.  He also has a nick name; Bun Bun.  We will not be calling him Bun Bun…although many people here already do call him that!  We aren’t sure if he really goes by Nicodemus at all.  We plan to call him Jonah.  We are also planning on keeping part of his Chinese name as his middle name.  I’m sure you are wondering how we are going to start calling him something completely different.  This happens all the time.  When we get to HK we will find out what he is predominantly called and we will call him that and Jonah for a while.  So if they do call him Bun Bun all the time we will call him Bun Bun Jonah or Jonah Bun Bun.  Then we will drop the other and just call him Jonah.  Part of me feels like I’m brainwashing him.  When you read Daniel you see that he and his friends were given new names when they were taken captive.  They also went through classes to brainwash them.  Part of me feels like that is exactly what we are doing.  I know it isn’t, but we really have to think through everything we do with him and how it is going to affect him now and in the future.

Q:  Are you scared he won’t like you or won’t attach to you?

A:  First let me say that this is a horrible question!  For future reference don’t ever ask someone who is going through adoption this question.  The answer is OF COURSE!!!  That is my biggest fear!  We are still discussing the things we will have to do and not do and we will communicate this to certain people in our life as the time gets closer.  

Of course I can’t question that God is all over this adoption and He knows that we WILL attach.  The question I have is how easy will it be and how quickly will it take place?!

Q:  Does he speak any English?

A:  We know that he is learning English, but we aren’t sure how much he knows.  No, we will not be using an interpreter.  We are taking steps to make sure he continues learning Chinese.  He currently speaks Cantonese, but when he moves here he will start learning Mandarin.  We want to maintain his Chinese heritage as much as possible and we really want him to have a heart for the people of China.    

Q:  Do you know what he is doing right now?

A:  Actually, yes!  Here is his schedule.

7:30 am                 Toilet Training / Teeth Brushing / Changing to Day Clothes

8:00 am                 Breakfast (Milk, Bread, Weetabix & etc)

9:00 am                 Lesson / Outing

10:00 am               Training / Outing

10:45 am               Toilet Training

11:00 am               Lunch (Rice, Meat, Vegetables, Water, Sliced Fruits, Fruit Juice)

12:00 noon            Nap Time

1:30 pm                 Toilet Training / Snack Time

2:15 pm                 Playing in Playground

2:45 pm                 Story Time / TV Time

3:15 pm                 Bath Time / Training

4:15 pm                 Group Activities

5:00 pm                 Free Play

5:30 pm                 Toilet Training

5:45 pm                 Dinner (Rice, Meat, Vegetables, Water, Sliced Fruits, Fruit Juice)

7:00 pm                 TV Time / Toilet training

8:00 pm                 Milk Time / Teeth Brushing / Changing to pajamas

9:00 pm                 Singing and Prayer Time / Reviewing Time

9:15 pm                 Bed Time

  Isn’t that great to see??

Q:  Do you have any concerns with his medical condition?

A:  While his condition is nothing to take lightly, we are not too worried about it at all.  We have a good pediatrician and we have one of the best children’s hospitals. I have no doubt that we will be well taken care of.  However, I see many ER trips in our near future while we figure out what is “normal” for him.  We know that he sometimes turns blue because of his heart condition and B is scared we are going to freak out the first time we see that.  We plan to spend some time talking to his caregivers about things to look for.

Q:  Do you think about him all the time?

A:  ALL THE TIME!  I go to bed praying that he would have a good day.  That he would have a good time with his friends.  That he would feel good that day and be safe.  That he would be learning about God’s love.  And that he would mind his caregivers.  I get up in the morning praying that he would have a peaceful night and that he would get lots of rest.

Q:  How exactly did you come to the decision to adopt from China specifically?

A:  The answer to this is long and I think it deserves its own post.  SO...to be continued...

Katie

Official!!!

I actually started this blog last week and it was titled "Unofficially Official"!!  Two weeks ago we got some news.  I emailed our social worker about a few things and in the email I asked if his agency had any more questions for us.  A few weeks ago they emailed some questions they had after reading our home study.  We sent our answers but of course didn't hear anything back.  She emailed me back and said that she had heard back from them...they took him off the waiting child list.  That was HUGE news.  That is actually a major answer to prayer.  This means that NO ONE else will know that he is available for adoption.  He isn't "waiting" for anyone any more!  Originally we were told that he would not be taken off their list (our agency had already taken him off their internal list because they already approved us) until after immigration approval.  They changed that policy about a month ago and they began looking at our home study before we were approved.  When I read that email from our social worker I thought "hmmm...that is good news."  I didn't really even tell many people.  I told one friend and she couldn't believe I wasn't jumping up and down with excitement.  I guess I was just scared that it wouldn't stick or that for some reason Immigration wouldn't approve us (crazy right?).  So I just kind of mentioned it to a few people and that was it. 
Then last week we went to a marriage class (it counted as part f the 30 hours of "training" we have to have before all of this is done) and I asked our social worker to clarify what she meant when she said "they took him off the waiting child list."  She looked at me with confused eyes so I clarified my question.  I said "I need you to be very clear with me right now.  Does that mean that NO ONE else can come along and adopt him?  This is actually going to happen for us."  She said "YES!  He is reserved for you alone.  He is going to be yours."  My eyes welled up, but I remembered that I had to get through a class so I held it in.  I couldn't really concentrate on the class though!  But then when I left...I really didn't get too excited.  In fact I forgot to tell B what she said (he wasn't in the room)!  Another interesting thing that happened that night was that she asked us about our Immigration approval and screamed when I told her we didn't have it yet.  It was supposed to take 4 to 6 weeks and it had been 9!  We called Immigration once and they told us they had 90 days to approve it.  I told her that and she got very angry and said that was incorrect.  We didn't know to question it.  We just said OK to the 90 days and didn't think anything else about it.  We had already waited over 60...what was another month.  As you can imagine...we are pretty much experts on waiting!  She contacted them the next day and they said they would get right on it.
So today when I got home from work B showed me the Immigration approval letter!  At first we just high-fived it (classic Katie and Brian style).  Then I decided I should probably text a few people to tell them.  Then I thought of a few more people.  People started calling me screaming with excitement.
To really explain my lack of excitement I will have to explain THE GREAT WALL OF KATIE...and that might have to be in another post sometime.  But basically it is me guarding my heart.  As anyone knows who has struggled with conception or who has had anything traumatic happen involving a child...anything someone says about children can cause an enormous amount of pain.  ANYTHING.  You never know when it is going to hit...but when it does there is zero emotional control.  My wall has been built brick by brick for many years now. 
Please don't confuse my lack of excitement for a lack of faith.

"With God all things are possible" - Matthew 19:26

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" - Romans 8:28

You see, I believe in the sovereignty of God.  No matter how this turns out, the way I want it to or not, God will work it out for good...for His good.  I know that and I truly believe it.  If for some reason I don't get this child, God has a plan that will bring glory to Him and that is what I want.  This child already feels like a part of my life.  I pray for him daily and I KNOW God has huge plans for him.  I'm just praying that those plans include me.  If they don't, I will be crushed.  But I have faith that God knows better than I do.  It is not all about me...it is all about Him.  His timing is ALWAYS perfect and He ALWAYS knows best.
My wall is temporary.  I have just lived with it so long now and I'm so comfortable behind it.  I will tell you this...it will all come crashing down with one little hand.  One little hand that I will take in mine by the end of the year. 
He isn't growing under my heart...but in it!

Katie