Q&A

So we get lots of questions about our adoption and the process.  Some we can answer and some we can't.  Below are some questions we have received recently.  If you have a question for us, please email one of us and we will try to answer it.

First I wanted to show you what our paper work looked like.

Q:  When will you get to go get him?

A:  We really don’t know.  We were told at the beginning that it takes 6 to 9 months for Hong Kong (HK) to go through the paper work and call us.  Our agency THINKS we will have him before the end of the year.  I think that God can do anything and He could certainly make things go faster if that is best.  Of course I want the wait to be over soon, but in many ways I want to cherish this time before he comes.  I want to see what God is going to do during this wait time.  How is He going to refine us as a couple before we bring a child into our life?  What is He going to teach us over these next few months?  Questions with no answers…yet.

Q:  How long will you have between the time HK calls you to come get him and when you actually go and get him?

A:  We will have a week to get there!  We have spoken to Delta and they provide adoption discounts.  It will still be expensive to get a ticket in that short amount of time.

Q:  How long do you have to stay in HK?

A:  7 days.  Thankfully all of our waiting is on the front end.  This is not the case for all international adoptions.  Some people have to stay for over a month and some have to make two trips.

Q:  What is his name?

A:  Well, he has a Chinese name, which I will not be posting.  He also has an American name, which someone along the course of his life gave him and it is Nicodemus.  He also has a nick name; Bun Bun.  We will not be calling him Bun Bun…although many people here already do call him that!  We aren’t sure if he really goes by Nicodemus at all.  We plan to call him Jonah.  We are also planning on keeping part of his Chinese name as his middle name.  I’m sure you are wondering how we are going to start calling him something completely different.  This happens all the time.  When we get to HK we will find out what he is predominantly called and we will call him that and Jonah for a while.  So if they do call him Bun Bun all the time we will call him Bun Bun Jonah or Jonah Bun Bun.  Then we will drop the other and just call him Jonah.  Part of me feels like I’m brainwashing him.  When you read Daniel you see that he and his friends were given new names when they were taken captive.  They also went through classes to brainwash them.  Part of me feels like that is exactly what we are doing.  I know it isn’t, but we really have to think through everything we do with him and how it is going to affect him now and in the future.

Q:  Are you scared he won’t like you or won’t attach to you?

A:  First let me say that this is a horrible question!  For future reference don’t ever ask someone who is going through adoption this question.  The answer is OF COURSE!!!  That is my biggest fear!  We are still discussing the things we will have to do and not do and we will communicate this to certain people in our life as the time gets closer.  

Of course I can’t question that God is all over this adoption and He knows that we WILL attach.  The question I have is how easy will it be and how quickly will it take place?!

Q:  Does he speak any English?

A:  We know that he is learning English, but we aren’t sure how much he knows.  No, we will not be using an interpreter.  We are taking steps to make sure he continues learning Chinese.  He currently speaks Cantonese, but when he moves here he will start learning Mandarin.  We want to maintain his Chinese heritage as much as possible and we really want him to have a heart for the people of China.    

Q:  Do you know what he is doing right now?

A:  Actually, yes!  Here is his schedule.

7:30 am                 Toilet Training / Teeth Brushing / Changing to Day Clothes

8:00 am                 Breakfast (Milk, Bread, Weetabix & etc)

9:00 am                 Lesson / Outing

10:00 am               Training / Outing

10:45 am               Toilet Training

11:00 am               Lunch (Rice, Meat, Vegetables, Water, Sliced Fruits, Fruit Juice)

12:00 noon            Nap Time

1:30 pm                 Toilet Training / Snack Time

2:15 pm                 Playing in Playground

2:45 pm                 Story Time / TV Time

3:15 pm                 Bath Time / Training

4:15 pm                 Group Activities

5:00 pm                 Free Play

5:30 pm                 Toilet Training

5:45 pm                 Dinner (Rice, Meat, Vegetables, Water, Sliced Fruits, Fruit Juice)

7:00 pm                 TV Time / Toilet training

8:00 pm                 Milk Time / Teeth Brushing / Changing to pajamas

9:00 pm                 Singing and Prayer Time / Reviewing Time

9:15 pm                 Bed Time

  Isn’t that great to see??

Q:  Do you have any concerns with his medical condition?

A:  While his condition is nothing to take lightly, we are not too worried about it at all.  We have a good pediatrician and we have one of the best children’s hospitals. I have no doubt that we will be well taken care of.  However, I see many ER trips in our near future while we figure out what is “normal” for him.  We know that he sometimes turns blue because of his heart condition and B is scared we are going to freak out the first time we see that.  We plan to spend some time talking to his caregivers about things to look for.

Q:  Do you think about him all the time?

A:  ALL THE TIME!  I go to bed praying that he would have a good day.  That he would have a good time with his friends.  That he would feel good that day and be safe.  That he would be learning about God’s love.  And that he would mind his caregivers.  I get up in the morning praying that he would have a peaceful night and that he would get lots of rest.

Q:  How exactly did you come to the decision to adopt from China specifically?

A:  The answer to this is long and I think it deserves its own post.  SO...to be continued...

Katie