Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Hanging on to every word

Words mean everything.  It has always been that way.  I think that is why I love music so much.  And I do love music.  But even more, I love lyrics.  Here are some of my favorite:

You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended, you should be the one I’ll always love - Muse - Unintended
I'm at the borderline of my faith, I'm at the hinterland of my devotion, in the frontline of this battle of mine, but I'm still alive - Sade - Soldier of Love
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy - John Mark McMillan - How He Loves
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.  Taylor Swift - Back to December
Can You overcome this heart that's overcome. - David Crowder - SMS [Shine]
Well for the price of a coke or a smoke I could keep alive those hungry eyes. - Dave Matthews - Seek Up
You are a novel in a sea of magazines - Drew Holcomb - Fire and Dynamite
And I'm growing fond of broken people as I see that I am one of them - Paul Meany (MuteMath) - Pins and Needles
You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust - Gungor - Beautiful Things
Life flows from God, it flows from God - Charlie Hall - You are God
Shoulda known you was trouble from the first kiss had your eyes wide open, why were they open - Bruno Mars - Grenade

I just love the way people can sometimes put into a few words a lifetime of emotion.  And I surprise myself sometimes how much importance I put on people's words.  Like, for example, last week when our social worker said we are still a couple months out.  Or was it a few months out? Or did she say we're months out?  I don't remember.  But I think she said a "few" months out and for the last few days I've been hanging on to that 3 letter word.  Because a "few" months is better than just saying we're "months" out, right?  So in my mind I had decided we would be travelling to Hong Kong around late November early December.  That's perfect.  Just in time for Christmas. 

So just to confirm I asked our social worker last night if she thought November/December was a reasonable expectation.  I remember exactly what she said.

"No I really don't."

When she said that there was a second or two where I thought she was just kidding.  Then she repeated it.  So as we talked she explained that in her experience looking at the steps that we still need to go through she just didn't see it happening before the end of the year. 

If I knew what it sounded like I would post the sound of mine and Katie's hearts deflating here.

We left the agency thankful for all that God has done for us, but feeling kind of blue at the same time. 

We took separate cars because we went there after work.  So when we got home we talked about it a little.  You may not believe this but it did not cheer Katie up when I started listing all the advantages of us being delayed another month or two.  Speaking of words meaning something, I learned from Adrian Rogers that to cherish means to warm with body heat.  And there are times when putting your arm around someone says everything that needs to be said.

It's been an emotional week.  In the highs and lows the Father is still there.  If there is anyone whose words are worth hanging on to, it is His.
From Psalm 119:

11 I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.

14 In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.

15 I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.

18 Open my eyes, that I may behold
wondrous things out of your law.
24 Your testimonies are my delight;
they are my counselors.
25 My soul clings to the dust;
 give me life according to your word!
28 My soul melts away for sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word!
31 I cling to your testimonies, O LORD;
 let me not be put to shame!
32 I will run in the way of your commandments
when you enlarge my heart!
34 Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.
36 Incline my heart to your testimonies,
and not to selfish gain!
37 Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;
and give me life in your ways.
41 Let your steadfast love come to me, O LORD,
your salvation according to your promise;
42 then shall I have an answer for him who taunts me,
for I trust in your word.
49 Remember your word to your servant,
in which you have made me hope.
50 This is my comfort in my affliction,
that your promise gives me life.
65 You have dealt well with your servant,
O LORD, according to your word.
66 Teach me good judgment and knowledge,
for I believe in your commandments.
67 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I keep your word.
68 You are good and do good;
 teach me your statutes.
72 The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
77 Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
for your law is my delight.
81 My soul longs for your salvation;
I hope in your word.
89 Forever, O LORD, your word
is firmly fixed in the heavens.
90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
93 I will never forget your precepts,
for by them you have given me life.
97 Oh how I love your law!
It is my meditation all the day.
103 How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.
107 I am severely afflicted;
 give me life, O LORD, according to your word!
111 Your testimonies are my heritage forever,
for they are the joy of my heart.
114 You are my hiding place and my shield;
I hope in your word.
142 Your righteousness is righteous forever,
and your law is true.
144 Your testimonies are righteous forever;
 give me understanding that I may live.
156 Great is your mercy, O LORD;
 give me life according to your rules.
169 Let my cry come before you, O LORD;
 give me understanding according to your word!

1 comment:

  1. Praying for y'all. And wouldn't it be cool if it DID happen before the end of the year? Because He can so do that. :) And that's what I'll be praying for!

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